It's not an inspiring or even really interesting story about how I got to Thailand. Long story short, I accepted a job, we sold nearly all we owned and moved here in 2013.
We do not have a car. Alex has a motorbike, I have an electric bicycle. To go as a family for any amount of distance we usually take a taxi. Sometimes we use the public transport (MRT, BTS). Needless to say, with the traffic here we have spent a fair amount of time in taxis.
Taxi drivers get a bad rep here. It's my opinion that in any given population, about 90% of the people are pretty decent human beings, then 10% aren't. This is true about kids, taxi drivers, hamsters, nearly all living things. I want to say that most of the guys (and gals) who drive us around are good drivers, good people. I could NOT do what they do day after day in this insane traffic! (Remember this traffic includes dogs, pedestrians, bikers, motorbikes, food carts, broom venders, cement trucks, ice cream men and about 12 million people all going somewhere!)
So after 2 years and what we estimate to be hundreds of taxi rides, I give you the profiles of the typical drivers you will see in BKK (Bangkok).....
-The Movers and the Shakers: These guys have some sort of spasm, twitch or odd repetitive movements. Sometimes it is unconscious like a leg thumping up and down, sometimes it is cracking their neck at every stop light. Sometimes it is as small as picking a fingernail (or nose), or a full on leg shake that shakes the whole car. This may or may not influence their ability to stay in one lane. These poor guys are stuck in a car all day long. When was the last time they got out?! Also in this category are the guys who pick their unwanted hairs out at as they drive. One guy had tweezers.
- The Overly Friendly Guy: This guy wants to chat. As much as the guy above wants to wiggle, this guy wants to talk. He may know some English, or not. I have had full, one way conversations with a guy, him in Thai, me in English. I have no idea what we were talking about.
One guy nearly convinced me to take a trip that day to Isan in the North of Thailand. I have no need to go there but this guy made it sound like Disneyland!
If you get the Overly Friendly Guy, be prepared to answer these standard questions:
1. Where you come from?
2. You teacher?
3. How many baby? (he will have more, always)
4. How long you stay Thailand?
5. Why you no speak Thai?
6. You like spicy food?
I assume I have been his only human contact for days. Still a nice guy, he means well. Usually really fun and my favorite type.
-The Teacher: This guy, I suppose, is wanting to be helpful. I spent 40 minutes being drilled on how to properly say the number nine (9) GAAO. Another guy was really hungry that day and we talked about food, the whole way. He taught me some new food words. Very helpful.
I have also been taught about climate change. I listened to one teary eyed guy tell me about his guilty feelings about contributing to polluting the air by driving all day. He also predicted snow in BKK within the next 50 years. All his fault. (free therapy for taxi drivers)
-The Overly Decorated: You will almost always see some sort of Buddha or amulet in the taxi for safety and good luck. Often there is a special blessing which is painted on the ceiling. These things are standard. The ones that stand out are the guys that have to grab hold of their flowers and amulets and charms as they go over a bump so they do not crack the windshield. I also love the guys with the statues for protection on the dashboard that are so huge they cover a good portion of the view out the windshield. And don't forget the one with the money from around the world wallpapering the entire taxi interior. He was desperate for money from Africa, which I did not have, but he let me sign his guest book anyway.
-The Others, No Category: The lady driver who's name was Kittiporn, The 14 year old making a little money on the side with his uncle's car (oh, I am sure that ID card is you), The one listening to a meditation CD, The guy who put in the CD American Radio Hits of the 70's "just for you, madam!"
We have had a rich experience of the good, the bad and the ugly you might say. This in no way includes every driver because I am sure that sometime in the next week I will meet a new type. It is like playing a weird game of roulette that you never know what you get until you sit down.
Overall, we get where we want to go (usually) and get there in one piece thanks to these guys!
